Shutting the door on my past
It's so easy. It's so hard. It's so impossible. They say that we should never shut the door on our past. But damn, god damn I want slam the door in its face so hard. Just like all the ex-boyfriends I have. Kick it's sorry ass out on the lawn. I have so much practice with sticking my middle finger through the window and telling the thing outside to fuck off and die. To slither away and find the ratchet hole it escaped from. I do that from time to time in my recovery. I treat my recovery like my junkie ex-boyfriend. Maybe I'll get a drunk text message at night from it, maybe I'll get a whining I'm sorry, maybe I'll answer the door when it decides to bang it down. Maybe I'll believe it when it says it'll pay me money back. In the end I want nothing to do with any of my junkie ex boyfriends, and some of them aren't even on this earth anymore. But they still show up knocking. And this is how my recovery started. It's pretty b